Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch

I heard this phrase the other day, and couldn’t get it out of my head. So I did what any sensible person would do: went through Google searches and Reddit/Quora posts to try to work out where it came from.

Really? That’s just a me thing?

What Does “Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch” Mean?

It’s a cheeky way to remember the movements of the sign of the cross: forehead, chest, left shoulder, right shoulder. The words point roughly to those four places. Roughly is doing some work here.

You might also hear it used as a leaving-the-house checklist. But in the movie scene below, it’s a memory aid for crossing yourself, not a reminder to check your pockets.

The Nuns on the Run Scene

In the 1990 comedy Nuns on the Run, Robbie Coltrane’s character teaches Eric Idle’s character how to cross himself using the rhyme. They’re crooks disguised as nuns, which gives the lesson some urgency.

The scene made a memorable use of the phrase, but there is a printed example from sixteen years earlier.

Spectacles

This one’s easy. Glasses sit near your forehead, where the gesture begins.

Testicles

This is where the joke takes over from anatomical accuracy. The next touch is to the chest, not the crotch. That mismatch is part of the joke.

For the actual gesture, this Catholic parish’s illustrated instructions show forehead, chest, left shoulder, then right shoulder. Other Christian traditions have variations.

Wallet

Given the whole point of this site, this is naturally the word we’re most invested in.

Think of a wallet in the left inside pocket of a jacket. That gives you the left side of the chest as the next stopping point. A long wallet makes that image easier to picture than a cardholder in your pants pocket.

Your actual wallet can stay wherever you find it comfortable to carry.

Watch

Watch? Hold on. How does the right side of your chest translate to a watch?

A pocket watch in a waistcoat is one possible explanation. But that only works if you picture it on the right, and it doesn’t establish how old the phrase is. A joke written in the wristwatch era could still refer to a pocket watch.

This is the least convincing part of the mapping. By then, though, there’s only one shoulder left.

Where Did the Rhyme Originate?

The phrase was in print before the movie. The Open British National Bibliography records Tim Longville’s poetry book Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch, published by GR/EW Books in 1974. The title is a dated use of the rhyme, rather than a credit for inventing it.

There are also memories of it circulating as a joke. In a 2004 discussion, Bob recalled hearing a parachuting-rabbi version around 1965: what looks like crossing oneself is actually a check that the essentials are still there. In his household, it became a leaving-the-house checklist.

So the phrase has two closely related uses: a comic memory aid for crossing yourself, and a pocket-check joke. Nuns on the Run is a recognizable screen example, while the 1974 book puts it earlier in print. Its original inventor remains unnamed.

Quite enough digging for a random Sunday. I really must get a hobby.

If the wallet part brought you here, try what to carry in your wallet or our guide to different wallet styles.